


burning up (literally)

by m0dus_0perandi



Category: American Housewife (TV)
Genre: Domestic garbage, M/M, hello to like the three people who read cooliver fanfiction, i didn't proofread this at all lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:08:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m0dus_0perandi/pseuds/m0dus_0perandi
Summary: "Wait, is there supposed to be smoke?"Or when Cooper and Oliver try to make cupcakes from scratch, and nearly burn the house down.
Relationships: Cooper Bradford/Oliver Otto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	burning up (literally)

**Author's Note:**

> aka me using far too much foul language for a family program  
> (also a gratuitous amount of bromigos, but i blame this week's episode for that)

"I want cupcakes."

Oliver looked up from his mug of coffee and scrunched his nose. "Its 6 am, dude, are you insane? You can't just have your servants deliver cupcakes at 6 am!"

There was a very good chance Cooper was, in fact, insane. 

"I know," the older boy stated plainly. "We'd bake them!"

And _no. Oh no._ Maybe his mom took the lesson too far, because _Cooper Bradford_ (the same Cooper Bradford who bragged about making bread _once)_ would not be offering to bake something. 

"That's a horrible idea!"

"Why?" Cooper walked over to the French press and poured another cup for the both of them. Renovating the basement into their own personal apartment had its perks, including a large array of appliances, courtesy of the Bradford trust fund. "I found a tub of frosting when I was looking for my cashew milk," he dropped a spoonful of sugar into the coffee. "Ooh! I'll have to request more of that next time I have my groceries delivered!"

"We are not baking cupcakes, especially not with Mom's secret fridge frosting!" 

"Please?" Cooper pouted. "I'll help you study for your SATs later?"

And, okay, fine, Oliver was convinced. Definitely not because Cooper looked cute begging, though. Definitely not.

"I suppose you want a chef hat?" 

Cooper grinned. "You know me so well, bromigo."

***

"I think we need a bigger bowl," Cooper held up the container, filled to the brim with ingredients. The boy himself was nearly as covered, white powder dusting his sweater and the _Kiss the Cook_ apron he borrowed from Greg. 

"You look ridiculous, you know that?" Though Oliver wasn't much better. A stray eggshell had adhered itself to his brown hair, and he was pretty sure no amount of dry cleaning would get rid of the giant stain on his pants from spilling the vanilla extract. 

"We don't need a bigger bowl! Just stir slowly, and eat any batter that doesn't fit." Oliver's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh no. I'm becoming my _mother."_

"Speaking of your mother," Cooper said between licks, furrowing his brows. "When are your parents getting back from that conference? It's been nearly a day!"

"Oh, that?" Oliver rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sometimes they use it as an excuse to ditch us for a weekend, don't worry."

"Well then who's going to taste my delicious cupcakes? I haven't worked this hard since-"

"Since the focaccia, I know. We _all_ know. You've told us the story _multiple times._ "

A mischievous grin appeared on Cooper's face. He scooped up a spoonful of batter, then instead of pouring it into the lined muffin tray, flung it in Oliver's direction. It hit his cheek with a quiet _plop._

"Dude..." Oliver narrowed his eyes, but he couldn't hide the smile growing on his lips. "I. Hate. You."

He moved towards the bowl, but Cooper blocked him.

"No way, _amigo_. I already have flour on my _cashmere sweater,_ I'm not risking any more damage."

"C'mon," it was Oliver's turn to pout. "I'll aim at your face, it's only fair!"

"Fine," the older boy sighed. "But put the cupcakes in the oven first, I'm getting hungry."

***

Oliver did not mean to throw the batter _directly onto Cooper's mouth._ In any other circumstance, he would've laughed when Cooper missed the corner of his lip while wiping. But this was a full blown Romantic Cliche™, and Oliver was panicking. 

So here's the thing: their whole "not-dating" situation was really messing with his mind. Oliver had never thought of Cooper as more than a best friend. Until the Bradfords decided to move to Florida, and the realization that _'Holy crap I'm in love with him'_ came pounding in like a sack of bricks. (Well, " _in love"_ may have been a little extreme, but he was at least _very much in like_ with Cooper Bradford.) 

Who just happened to be standing in front of him with batter on his lip. And Oliver wanted to clean it off. With his mouth. Badly. Not because it tasted good (he was almost certain Cooper added a tablespoon of baking powder instead of a teaspoon), but because he wanted to _kiss Cooper,_ like in those stupid Hallmark movies the moms in Westport always watched, and like his stupid apron suggested. 

"Okay, dude, you've been staring at me for like two minutes straight, did I not get all the batter?" Cooper snapped his fingers. "Oh, I get it! you're doing a monologue in your head right now, aren't you? Is it still about me, because-"

 _"There's still shit on your face!"_ Oliver blurted out.

And. Wow. Great thing to say to the person he was _about to kiss._

"Seriously?" Cooper grabbed the towel he was using and rubbed the entirety of the mess off, turning his skin red and blotchy in the process. " _Bueno?"_

_Well, there went his chance._

"Yeah, _bueno."_

Cooper beamed, releasing his clutch on the towel and stepping forward. A lot. His voice softened as he gazed at the ground. "I asked your help for a reason, y'know. This may sound really stupid, but..."

_Was he about to kiss Oliver? They were less than a foot apart, they were totally about to kiss, right? They were too close not to, and-_

"Wait, is there supposed to be smoke?"

 _Oh shit. Oh. Shit._ Mom was going to kill them. She was _literally going to kill them._

During the seconds it took Oliver to process that _oh shit, Mom was going to kill them,_ the room had filled with a thick exhaust. Cue the beeping of the smoke alarm and Taylor bounding down the stairs in pajamas, Anna-Kat and Franklin in quick succession.

_Oh shit._

"Alright, what the heck is going on here?" Anna-Kat plugged her nose and wafted the smoke away from her, ushering everyone outside.

"Did someone die? Because my mom says this is what they do at the retreat when someone dies." Franklin offered. 

"Nobody died! We just...tried to make cupcakes?"

"At 6 am?" Taylor rolled her eyes. "I was asleep, morons! Why are you guys making cupcakes at 6 am?"

"That's what I said!" Oliver glared at Cooper. "And now not only do we not have cupcakes, we probably won't have a house soon, either!"

"Relax, _bromigo,"_ Cooper snorted and wrapped his arm around his best friend. "I Googled it, and as long as we turn the stove off and leave the doors open, the smoke will clear and everyone can just pretend this never happened!"

"Pretend _what_ didn't happen?"

The van was back. They turn their heads for _one minute_ and the van was back.

"Why are my children outside at 6 am on a Saturday?" Katie stared knowingly at Cooper, who backed away behind Oliver.

"Uhh...Franklin? Want to explain to Mrs. Otto why we're all out here?"

"Oh, someone died."

Anna-Kat face-palmed and guided her boyfriend back inside the building. _"Ignore him,"_ she mouthed to her parents.

"Okay, what _really_ happened?"

"Oliver and Cooper were baking cupcakes, then were too busy flirting to notice they were burning," Taylor told them, eyes never leaving her phone.

_"We weren't flirting!"_

Cooper poked Oliver in the ribs. " _We weren't?_ _"_ he whispered. A bit _too_ loudly. 

Katie flashed with glee, then regained her composure. "We'll talk cruise details later, but right now, both of you are grounded. And that means no leaving the house except for school, so you guys have plenty of time to study for the SATs!"

"Cruise?" 

"Don't worry about it." Oliver turned away from Cooper, silently reaffirming to his mom the fact they were _not dating_ behind the boy's back. "We can just order cupcakes from that expensive bakery downtown."

Cooper gleamed. "Way ahead of you, _bromigo."_ He fished out a wad of money from his pocket and pointed to a black car in the driveway with the words _Westport Sweets_ on the side. _(What was with all the vehicles showing up out of nowhere? Was Oliver just completely unaware of his surroundings?)_

"When did you get a chance to order cupcakes? I've been lecturing you since I got home!" Katie grumbled, eyeing the large package Cooper exchanged the cash for.

"You'd be surprised what you can do when you're rich. Once, for my 10th birthday, we were vacationing in Kilchberg, and-"

"Alright, I don't care!" She grabbed the box of cupcakes from Cooper's arms. "These are mine now! Today's mommy lesson: don't let your son and his boyfriend anywhere near a stove!"

_"Still not my boyfriend!"_

Katie paused from licking the icing off her dessert. _"Still not allowed by the stove!"_ She retorted.

Oliver pulled Cooper back into the house and muttered into his ear. "Just so we're clear, we _are_ going to eat her fridge frosting as payback, right?"

The other boy smirked. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

**Author's Note:**

> got tired of just lurking in this fandom so i made an archive account  
> if you liked this, i have nothing better to do than write cooliver fanfiction so y'all can send me prompts on here or on tumblr (m0dus-0perandi) if you want  
> thanks for reading!


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